Wednesday, May 30, 2012

A. To Finish or to Throw Away...

Almost two years ago I had an idea for a new novel due to a dream I had. This happens a lot! I have very strange dreams, and if you have read THE MISSING you would understand what I mean because that was also a dream that I had.

This dream was a little different and it mimicked a situation we had going on in our lives at the moment. I told Mike about the dream and told him I wanted to right it out. The topic of the dream is serious it has to do with children lost in the foster care system.

My biological father and step mom where foster parents. They adopted several children. They were having problems with my 16 yr old sister , who they adopted and I offered to take her in for a little while to calm things down. Once in my house she told me horrific stories that where going on and as  I never lived in the house, i was only a weekend kid and that was a long long time ago. I started to believe her.

So i had this dream that was loosely based on that situation.  We had the whole novel planned out and even started to write it. I was going to be one hell of the story. Then things changed and I started to realize maybe I believed a little to quickly and a little to much of what my sister was saying. I realized that in the year and a half she lived with me, i stopped talking to my father, my children were behaving differently , I was yelling all the time and every moment I was alone I was crying.  Something needed to give.

I talked to her case manger and realized my house was not the place for her. She need more help then I could give her and MY children were suffering from what my house had turned into a ticking time bomb.  She was removed from my house and placed where she would get help. In the process Mike and decided we could not finish the book because it was too painful and the ending just wouldn't work for us anymore.  We didn't delete it just put it aside.

In the last couple of months we have talked about changing the ending and getting back into it. I was never ready and always dismissed the subject. Then last night Mike brought it up again. I still don't know what to do, Its a great story it does need to be changed A LOT, but even with that said and it is mostly fictional it does make me relive things I am not sure I am ready for or will ever be ready for.

What to do?

1 comment:

  1. I have a novel that I left off and then when the time felt right I went back to it and finished it off. I think you'll just know. Sorry that's not so helpful but I think it's true. :)